It has happened to all of us that we meet a minor who goes down the street and suddenly begins to cry, scream and even throw objects. It usually happens at home, at school, and in all the places that you can think of and you can mention.
You will ask yourself, why are these behaviors happening?
First of all, you must bear in mind that tantrums, usually occur precisely when the minor wants us to obtain or that we give him any object or even food, but we refuse to give in – at the moment – to their whim. Tantrums are usually caused by a lack of emotional management on the part of children, and sometimes also parents.
A clear example is when the minor wants a sweet in the supermarket and you tell him that right now you cannot give it to him, that he must wait until they leave the premises. The minor, seeing himself in a hurry and wanting the sweet, will look for a strategy to obtain it, and of course, asking for it did not work for him at the time, so he resorts to crying. I am sure that at the beginning it is normal for you, ‘but when the crying increases “the social shame or embarrassment” and to prevent him from continuing to cry, you give him the candy. Done, you just reinforced that every time you want something your best option is to cry to get it! And keep in mind that this can happen in any space.
So can we teach them to control tantrums?
Of course, teaching them becomes a learning process for both of you, keep in mind that a tantrum is also the result of the degree of communication you have with your little one, so you are also part of the problem.
Give him the opportunity to express himself and tell you how he feels (help him identify his emotions and validate what you feel).
Always be empathetic and make him see that you understand him at all times.
Never argue with him or her when he or she is upset (it is the anger that speaks, not your reasoning).
Stand firm in your position, remember that if you say that you should not comply (the adult is you).
When the minor is calm, you can talk to him and explain the reason for your decision and, above all, how to do things correctly. Your behaviors must be constant, if you establish rules and limits you must comply with them in all contexts.
“YOU MUST BEAR IN MIND, AS WE MENTIONED ABOVE, THAT COMMUNICATION IS KEY AND FUNDAMENTAL IN RAISING YOUR CHILDREN.”
The establishment of norms and limits with the participation of all the members of the family and of course the children will contribute in a positive and significant way in the reduction of tantrums.